


A Study on Happiness

by barbiequed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childhood, Pre-Hogwarts Remus, Some Fluff, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 12:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16786912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbiequed/pseuds/barbiequed
Summary: Remus Lupin and how his relationship with happiness changed throughout his life.





	A Study on Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this over a year ago and now I'm finally posting it, lol

When Remus was two years old, he was a happy toddler. He constantly ran around the house he grew up in, getting dirty and into trouble. His parents, Lyall and Hope loved him. They watched as he ran and played and did things little boys do. He was a smart kid; he could talk in complex sentences much earlier than the other toddlers in the town they lived.

He showed magical abilities at an early age too. When he was three, Hope turned around in the kitchen and saw the chocolate float out of the cupboard and into Remus’s hands. She scolded him as the boy munched happily on his treat. Chocolate quickly became Remus’s favorite food and Hope soon had to be careful where she hid the chocolate she didn’t want Remus to find. 

Lyall and Hope also wanted him to be intelligent. They read him books and pretty soon he began to open books and taught himself to read when he was four. Lyall read Remus the wizarding fairytales and children stories, like the Fountain of Fortune and the Warlock’s Hairy Heart. Hope wanted Remus to be knowledgeable in muggle literature too. So, she read him stories of Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland. Remus read all that he could at his level. He constantly wanted new books and Lyall and Hope considered getting him a bookshelf for his fifth birthday which was in a month.

Remus Lupin never received that bookcase. One day at work, his father carelessly spouted words of bigotry to an unforgiving man. This man, who was a werewolf, decided to take revenge on Lyall. Thus, Fenrir Greyback stationed himself near the Lupin’s home the next full moon, and after that night, Remus’s life would forever be changed.  
The young couple had no idea what to do. Their beloved only son was now a werewolf, becoming a monster every full moon. And so, they did what most people would do in that situation, they moved. They moved to a different town where no one knew their names or their story. Every full moon, they would lock him in a room with a silencing spell, hoping the neighbors wouldn’t notice. 

Lyall and Hope mourned what happened to their son, Lyall especially. He never got over the guilt he felt that he caused this to happen to his beloved boy. They still loved him, however. Lyall’s bigotry stemmed from the bigotry of all wizarding kind, which is no excuse, but his perspective of werewolves quickly changed as he saw that his clever son remained the same, with the exception of the full moon. Lyall’s guilt forced him to try to find a potion or spell to reverse his son’s transformations, but nothing worked. Lyall soon gave up hope that his intelligent boy would ever attend his alma mater, Hogwarts, and with Hope’s help, they began tutoring the boy. 

Remus never had friends when he was growing up. They moved around too much, and his parents never allowed him to play with other children his age, for fear Remus would reveal he was a werewolf. Even with his loving parents, Remus craved the company of children his own age. In the books he read, the main character would have a group of close friends and Remus desired that intimacy, but he never found it in his childhood and he grew up a lonely boy.

By the time Remus reached ten years of age, his werewolf-self had grown and was quickly becoming very dangerous for his parents. Stronger and stronger spells were needed to keep the wolf in check, and his parents were worried. Remus saw his parents’ anxiety and resented his werewolf side, and even himself. He knew he was the one causing this pain to his parents. One day, he considered running away, so his parents wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. He could go and live in the wilderness with ‘his kind’ as he thought about it. Remus even began hoarding food and packing a bag for his journey when a strange visitor knocked on their door. 

Now, this was a relatively new village the Lupins had moved to. They had only been here for one full moon, meaning none of the inhabitants suspected something strange of the quiet Lupin boy. Visitors knocked when they first arrived, welcoming the new family to the neighborhood, which the Lupins politely thanked but declined further offers of interaction, causing most of the inhabitants simply to think the Lupins as shy (though some thought they were standoffish). But when this visitor knocked, Lyall went to open the door and saw his old Transfiguration teacher. In his shock, Lyall quickly shut the door again, thinking it was a hoax. 

Albus Dumbledore knocked again and spoke through the door, “It’s good to see you again, Lyall, but we need to discuss your son and his future, and it would be much easier if we could do it face to face.” Hope came to the door, curious about the noise, and once Lyall whispered the situation to her, she quickly began begging the Headmaster to leave. Lyall and Hope did not understand why the man came, but they were frightened for the fate of Remus and so tried to stop the advances of Albus Dumbledore. Of course, they should have never tried, as within a few minutes, Dumbledore ended up in their living room. Remus who was reading in there, looked up at this man with half-moon glasses and a long beard and quietly asked if he played Gobstones. Dumbledore agreed to a game and accepted the offer of a crumpet from Remus. Dumbledore then gave an offer Remus couldn’t comprehend.

“Go to Hogwarts?” Remus asked flabbergasted.

“Why yes, you’re a talented boy and I’m sure you will excel marvelously there,” Dumbledore supplied. While Remus barely dared to hope, Hope and Lyall exchanged a dark look, how were they to explain Remus’s condition to this great wizard? “Of course, we have made provisions for the full moon,” Dumbledore spoke casually, taking another crumpet. All three Lupins stared at Dumbledore surprised, until Dumbledore explained how he knew about Remus’s lycanthropy, because Fenrir Greyback boasted about his previous actions. Dumbledore then explains the precautions Hogwarts has made, explaining the house in Hogsmeade with a secret passage where Remus could transform without endangering anyone. “Naturally, you should not announce your condition, Remus, as many wizards are too prejudiced to see beyond a label,” Dumbledore advises. This advice Remus would keep for the rest of his life. Dumbledore then loses to Remus in Gobstones, wipes the crumbs from his hands, and stands up. “I look forward to seeing you September 1st.” Dumbledore smiled at Remus and his parents and hands Remus his acceptance letter and booklist and then strolls out of the house and disapparated on the front step. 

Remus reads through his letter and his booklist and looks up at his parents, hope burgeoning in his eyes, “Well, can I go?”

“Of course, you can, dear,” Hope replies. “We’ll go shopping for your supplies later this week, alright?”

Remus smiles and scampers to his room, missing the smile of fondness between his parents. As Remus closes his bedroom door, he considers all that he learned from the strange man who called himself Dumbledore. First, all he thought about his excitement for Hogwarts, but then he remembered the werewolf. Before this, Remus had pitied the werewolf who bit him, as Lyall had not told Remus the whole story behind the attack. Remus had pitied the poor man who had to suffer through the guilt of being responsible for making a small boy a werewolf. Of course, this Fenrir Greyback did not seem to suffer from this guilt, since he apparently boasted about turning Remus. Remus vowed to learn more about this man, but no longer pitied him. 

Remus then turned his thoughts toward something happier. He would go to school and be around other students his age. Remus smiled to himself as he thought about the fact he would finally have friends and actually be happy. 

September 1st could not have come fast enough for little 11 year old Remus Lupin. He had already read through most of his schoolbooks as well as other books over Hogwarts. Unknown to his parents, Remus Lupin began grabbing the Daily Prophet once his father finished reading and scanned the pages looking for any mentions of Fenrir Greyback. While not finding any mention by name, Remus did find different reports of either werewolf attacks on small children and the kidnapping of small children. Remus developed a theory that Greyback liked to keep the turned children in his own pack and raise them to hate the rest of wizarding kind, a theory which he later in life proved.

But when stepping on the platform 9 3/4, all thoughts of Greyback flew out of Remus’s head as he stared at the impressive Hogwarts express. His parents also grinned with joy and they hugged their son tightly as he said goodbye. He waved once more to his parents and then boarded the train, lugging his trunk behind him. The quiet shy boy wanders down the train trying to find an empty compartment, slightly overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of the other students. He eventually finds another compartment with only one other person sitting in it and it was a boy with mousy brown hair about Remus’s own age. 

“Hi, can I sit here?” Remus asks shyly, to the slightly chubby boy. 

“Of course!” exclaimed the boy. “My name’s Peter. I’m a first year. What about you?”

“I’m Remus. I’m also a first year.”

“Cool! Do you know what House you want to be in yet?” Peter asked. “My mum was in Hufflepuff and so I think she might expect me to follow her footsteps.”

“My dad was a Ravenclaw,” Remus replied brightly, warming up to this boy. “I think I might follow him. I do like to read.”

The boys continued their conversation for the rest of the train ride. About halfway through, a red-headed girl and a boy with long black hair asked if they could join in their compartment, to which the other two graciously welcomed them. The red-headed girl, named Lily joined into their conversation every now and then, but the boy, Severus, did not talk to Remus or Peter for the ride to Hogwarts. 

When the train began to slow down, after changing into their robes, (Lily had left to change), Remus looked through the window excitedly, anxiously awaiting to see Hogwarts. There was a jolt as the train stopped and the four of them got off the train, pushing their way through the crowd to the large man yelling for first years. Remus lost track of his other three train companions and he ended up in a boat with a blonde girl, a boy with long black hair and another boy with very messy brown hair. The girl introduced herself as Marlene, the boy with long black hair was Sirius and the other boy’s name was James. 

James and Sirius seemed to have been best friends for years by the way they joked and laughed with each other. In fact, their boat was the loudest, as everyone else quietly sat in their boats. Remus did look around and saw Peter, Lily, and Severus in a boat with a brown-haired girl. Peter waved to Remus to which Remus waved back. But once the group went around a bend, even James and Sirius grew quiet in awe of the massive castle, glowing above them. 

Once off the boats, and inside the castle, the group of first years meet a stern woman named Minerva McGonagall. She explained the four house system at Hogwarts and then promptly led the group of first years into the Great Hall.

Remus was in awe. Even reading Hogwarts: A History could not have prepared him for the sight that stood before him. He gaped at everything, from the long four tables, to the floating candles, to the enchanted ceiling with twinkling stars. He was also a little intimated by how many students sat, watching the group of first years come in. Remus made eye contact with Albus Dumbledore, who winked at him, giving Remus a little more confidence.

The Sorting Hat was brought in and after singing its song, McGonagall began to read out the names. Everything was running smoothly until McGonagall called out “Sirius Black.”  
Sirius walked up the stool with trepidation and slowly lowered his hat on his head. After a moment, Sirius broke out in a grin as the Sorting Hat yelled, “GRYFFINDOR!” Sirius gave James a thumbs up and then ran to the Gryffindor table while whispers broke out among the room, most notably at the Slytherin table. 

Remus watched as the other students in his year were sorted and then finally, it was his turn. As Professor McGonagall called out his name, Remus sat down on the stool and then heard a voice inside his head. “Well, what do we have here? A werewolf at Hogwarts?”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Remus pleaded in his mind. “I just want to learn magic and make friends and be happy for once. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You know, it must be hard for you to come here and deal with the possibility of bigotry and hatred if people found out. That takes courage. My dear young werewolf, you are a GRYFFINDOR!” The hat shouted the last word for the Great Hall to hear and then Remus walked to the Gryffindor table and sat next to Lily Evans. 

Finally, the Sorting ended, after Peter caused a hatstall, after James ran to Sirius and gave him a high five at the Gryffindor table and after Severus sulked to the Slytherin table. Albus Dumbledore stood and gave a few announcements and dinner began.

James and Sirius talked more enthusiastically to Remus and the three became lifelong friends. Remus tried to include Peter in the conversation, but he talked more with Lily and Mary Macdonald, the girl who they shared a boat with. Once dinner was finished, James and Sirius and Remus joked as they followed the prefect. After learning the password, “nightingale”, and entering the common room, the three boys, and Peter went up to their room. Remus got ready for bed, and promptly fell asleep, feeling luxurious in the softness of the bed.

Remus became very close with James and Sirius and also Peter, after Remus introduced Peter to the other two boys. The four were as thick as thieves, and after a week, Sirius and James had their first detention for offering McGonagall catnip in the middle of Transfiguration. The official reason for the detention was disrupting class, but in reality, McGonagall wanted to know how the boys found out that she was an Animagus. But there was not real mystery there, as Remus had already looked up the Animagus registry and saw Minerva McGonagall, and then told the other boys.

The deviousness just went downhill from there. Pretty soon, the whole school knew to look out for Potter and his group of friends, as their reputation for being tricksters grew. And Remus truly learned what it meant to have friends and experience real happiness. 

Of course, he did live in constant fear that his friends would learn his secret. There were only so many excuses he could come up with to explain his absence from the dorm every month. While surrounded by loving friends, Remus secretly feared that they would leave if they found out.

**Author's Note:**

> So I meant for this to have a couple more chapters, going into Hogwarts and the First and Second Wizarding War. But I never wrote those chapters. So basically I'm just posting this now, just so it's out, and I might write the other chapters. We'll see. Talk to me on [ tumblr](%E2%80%9Dbarbiequed.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D) if you like.


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